to heal a heart convulsing
I leaned into the wound

neural buzz
tethered to roots of parents
entangled in an undertow of violence they couldn’t escape
despite how hard they thrashed their water flesh

and the child who built a world of ice
so thick she forgot the world existed for thirty years

oh the worlds of bliss and pain we write within

while you were away
I learned the laws of attachment
the wound, an opening
the cure, a partner
the answer, yes of course
how silly of me
just train the fire to lust for feathers

and yet
how this body yearned for soul sibling
how we once rubbed our wounds raw together till they turned gold

I silence my hands as they reach for you
I swim in the eyes of others
I feel more alive than expected
I love with a presence and kindness that springs naturally in me
as it does in you

I train myself to forget your smell
the sweetness of your sorrow
the throb of your pulse
which will forever illuminate my heart

and still
you are a north
as true as copper
as true as mountains
as true as dessert sand